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As one young and in love, and doing the whole long distance thing, have you ever looked over your life and wonder if this was where you should be? Then that led you to think, “will I look back on this part of my life years from now and be satisfied, or will I regret my actions and decisions.” We all hope that we don’t wake up one day and realize we made a mistake, no one wants that. I find myself questioning myself, my actions, my decisions, my life more now than I have ever before in my life. I just wish someone could give me the answer sheet to my future and I can just know where I will be 10-20 years from now.
For instance, I have been happily with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I am not one for relationships, at all, but he makes me want to settle down. I see him in my past, present, and future. He has become such a huge part of my life now, and not just him, his family too. I have know him, and his family for years now, and we were always close, but no where near to how we are now. He is the only person that I can see myself spending my entire life with, because quite frankly, I can not see him not in my life.
However, us being so young, I am no where ready to make that commitment. I often say that we are ahead of ourselves, our time. By that I mean, he is everything that I could hope in another, but why did I have to find him now? If we could of just had everything fall into place when we were both out of school and established, that would be perfect, but of course life does not ever work that way.
There is a quote that I read quite often. Basically I read it when I start questioning the strength of myself within my relationship. Typically people say, “well you should know if you want to be with that person.” but then I bet that person has never withstood a long distance relationship. It tests ones true self, and every day I prove to myself how strong I actually am. It takes a lot out of you everyday, and always leaves you questioning. As soon as I start to feel like I am losing grip of myself I read this, and it clears up any unanswered questions:
“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”